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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Gingerbread doesn’t appeal to the kiddies any more.’ - 10 June 2023</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Gingerbread’s safer than concrete.’ - 9 September 2023</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Given your links to gambling, they should withdraw the whip.’ - 15 April 2023</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Goldilocks, breaking and entering. You?’ - 7 August 2021</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Halt! Who goes there — friend or Defence Secretary? - 27 March 2021</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘He should try turning it off and on again...’ - 8 May 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-hooray-now-we-can-die-from-something-else-28-november-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-how-about-never-never-s-good-for-me-19-june-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-how-embarrassing-i-ve-been-linked-to-emily-maitlis-6-june-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘How embarrassing – I’ve been linked to Emily Maitlis.’ - 6 June 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-how-much-access-can-i-get-for-a-pair-of-trousers-21-september-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-how-racist-can-i-be-for-a-grand-23-march-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘How racist can I be for a grand?’ - 23 March 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-how-s-exile-going-comrade-progozhin-8-july-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-hurrah-it-s-peace-in-the-sausage-war-3-july-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-accept-you-saw-elvis-i-just-don-t-believe-he-had-a-tomato-25-february-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I accept you saw Elvis – I just don’t believe he had a tomato.’ - 25 February 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-always-said-rupert-murdoch-and-jerry-hall-made-an-unlikely-couple-2-july-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I always said Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall made an unlikely couple.’ - 2 July 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-assume-they-didn-t-need-an-intimacy-co-ordinator-30-march-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-believe-nhs-dentists-exist-though-i-ve-never-actually-seen-one-27-january-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-blame-elon-musk-10-august-2024</loc>
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      <image:caption></image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-can-see-the-neighbours-being-spied-on-by-their-chinese-fridge-6-april-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-can-t-believe-that-dominic-raab-has-been-reprieved-28-august-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I can’t believe that Dominic Raab has been reprieved.’ - 28 August 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-can-t-enlighten-you-as-to-the-meaning-of-woman-19-march-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I can’t enlighten you as to the meaning of “woman”.’ - 19 March 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-can-t-see-the-monarchy-surviving-christmas-2-december-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-can-t-stop-the-doors-opening-17-december-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-can-t-wait-to-spoil-my-first-ballot-paper-27-may-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I can’t wait to spoil my first ballot paper.’ - 27 May 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-don-t-want-chicken-kiev-i-want-chicken-kyiv-5-march-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-draw-the-line-at-leading-the-labour-party-15-may-2021</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-expect-lulu-lytle-will-be-overly-decorated-16-july-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-expect-mr-punch-will-get-a-knighthood-25-march-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-expect-you-think-i-m-bonkers-for-taking-money-from-qatar-2-july-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-failed-does-that-mean-i-get-a-peerage-in-the-liz-truss-honours-26-august-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I failed! Does that mean I get a peerage in the Liz Truss honours?’ - 26 August 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-feel-sorry-for-the-scots-held-in-the-united-kingdom-against-their-will-15-may-2021</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-find-a-graph-a-lot-scarier-14-november-2020</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-flew-in-this-morning-13-february-2021</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-forget-all-of-angela-rayner-s-titles-22-may-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I forget all of Angela Rayner’s titles.’ - 22 May 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-hope-by-march-i-ll-remember-how-to-bunk-off-9-january-2021</loc>
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      <image:caption></image:caption>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-hope-they-don-t-drop-qr-codes-before-i-ve-found-out-what-they-are-10-july-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-hope-this-doesn-t-degenerate-into-a-tory-leadership-contest-5-october-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I hope this doesn’t degenerate into a Tory leadership contest.’ - 5 October 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-hope-world-war-three-is-a-better-sequel-than-world-war-two-20-november-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I hope World War Three is a better sequel than World War Two.’ - 20 November 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-keep-forgetting-if-i-ve-misplaced-classified-documents-21-january-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I keep forgetting if I’ve misplaced classified documents.’ - 21 January 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-need-to-take-your-temperature-19-december-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-never-thought-i-d-catch-a-glimpse-of-an-actual-royal-residence-13-april-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-shall-now-be-fired-from-the-cannon-into-a-bucket-without-a-mask-10-july-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I shall now be fired from the cannon into a bucket — without a mask!’ - 10 July 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-suggest-switching-to-the-bank-of-euan-blair-s-mum-and-dad-30-january-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I suggest switching to the Bank of Euan Blair’s Mum and Dad.’ - 30 January 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-told-you-it-was-bad-luck-not-to-take-down-the-christmas-decorations-11-january-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-trust-there-s-11-per-cent-extra-money-in-the-pudding-17-december-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I trust there’s 11 per cent extra money in the pudding.’ - 17 December 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-went-out-looting-but-the-shoplifters-got-there-first-10-august-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I went out looting but the shoplifters got there first.’ - 10 August 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-d-like-to-see-how-jeremy-hunt-gets-out-of-triple-lock-pensions-23-september-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-d-take-it-with-a-pinch-of-salt-24-july-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-ll-see-what-the-chancellor-has-to-offer-25-november-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’ll see what the Chancellor has to offer.’ - 25 November 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-a-championship-winning-footballer-trapped-in-a-man-s-body-6-august-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-afraid-doc-can-t-see-you-until-they-ve-agreed-a-pay-deal-10-august-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-afraid-the-school-insists-on-masks-8-january-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m afraid the school insists on masks.’ - 8 January 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-afraid-the-weight-loss-jab-may-not-necessarily-get-you-work-mr-blobby-26-october-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-an-hs2-trainspotter-7-october-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m an HS2 trainspotter.’ - 7 October 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-doing-woke-experience-3-june-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-doing-work-experience-but-i-m-on-strike-7-january-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-doing-workshy-experience-27-april-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-getting-them-in-before-the-next-lockdown-22-may-2021</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-here-to-judge-the-abuse-cases-31-august-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-looking-for-mr-hard-right-15-july-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m looking for Mr Hard Right.’ - 15 July 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-making-a-list-and-checking-it-twice-4-december-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m making a list and checking it twice.’ - 4 December 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-not-joining-the-garrick-club-until-they-move-with-the-times-28-august-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m not joining the Garrick Club until they move with the times!’ - 28 August 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-not-taking-any-chances-19-november-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m not taking any chances.’ - 19 November 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-really-excited-about-being-apathetic-22-june-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m rehearsing for the coronation.’ - 22 April 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-sorry-but-for-me-blind-nick-newcasting-just-doesn-t-work-8-april-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m sorry, but for me blind Nick newcasting just doesn’t work.’ - 8 April 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-sorry-spoon-but-i-think-it-s-safer-to-run-off-with-a-knife-3-february-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m sorry, Spoon, but I think it’s safer to run off with a knife.’ - 3 February 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-waiting-to-see-what-s-in-the-budget-19-october-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-war-i-got-conscripted-1-june-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m War – I got conscripted.’ - 1 June 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-worried-i-m-the-only-one-who-doesn-t-know-what-fomo-means-21-september-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m worried I’m the only one who doesn’t know what FOMO means.’ - 21 September 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-m-your-best-friend-why-haven-t-i-got-a-peerage-12-march-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’m your best friend – why haven’t I got a peerage?’ - 12 March 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-ve-got-tickets-to-the-tory-conference-the-fighting-s-better-14-september-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’ve got tickets to the Tory conference – the fighting’s better.’ - 14 September 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-i-ve-got-writer-s-block-i-can-t-decide-which-ai-chatbot-to-use-8-april-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘I’ve got writer’s block – I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use.’ - 8 April 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘If anyone’s going, it’s Sneezy.’ - 12 September 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-christmas-is-cancelled-it-doesn-t-matter-if-you-re-naughty-or-nice-25-september-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-i-wanted-to-see-people-making-a-bomb-i-d-have-a-look-at-my-gas-bill-12-august-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘If I wanted to see people making a bomb I’d have a look at my gas bill.’ - 12 August 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-it-s-pain-you-re-after-24-june-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘If it’s pain you’re after...’ - 24 June 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-the-magic-money-tree-doesn-t-make-a-dash-for-growth-we-ve-had-it-8-october-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘If the magic money tree doesn’t make a dash for growth, we’ve had it.’ - 8 October 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-the-unions-can-make-a-comeback-there-s-hope-for-us-all-10-december-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-they-shouldn-t-be-here-we-should-send-them-to-rwanda-6-august-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘If they shouldn’t be here, we should send them to Rwanda.’ - 6 August 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-they-ve-freed-julian-assange-there-s-hope-for-us-all-6-july-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘If they’ve freed Julian Assange there’s hope for us all.’ - 6 July 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-can-t-control-your-owner-he-ll-have-to-be-muzzled-14-august-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-don-t-want-to-fly-i-ll-book-you-on-easyjet-11-june-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-put-a-shell-to-your-ear-you-can-hear-the-red-sea-27-january-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-really-loved-me-you-would-have-got-me-a-tomato-4-march-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-think-this-is-dismal-you-should-see-the-real-world-16-december-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-wish-to-swim-competitively-it-ll-have-to-be-in-a-separate-category-25-june-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-if-you-re-searching-for-your-christmas-presents-you-ll-have-to-go-to-felixstowe-23-october-2021</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-is-keir-starmer-a-real-bore-or-just-a-man-in-a-bore-s-outfit-19-august-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-is-this-the-interval-or-are-they-on-strike-16-march-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-goes-from-0-100-c-in-under-six-seconds-8-july-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-was-a-good-idea-to-ask-for-an-umbrella-in-your-cocktail-20-july-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-ll-be-a-lot-scarier-once-it-s-renationalised-4-may-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-a-gift-from-the-greek-prime-minister-9-december-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-a-shot-in-the-arm-for-anti-vaxxers-23-november-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘It’s a shot in the arm for anti-vaxxers.’ - 23 November 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-for-being-too-scared-to-watch-the-news-12-march-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-just-great-to-be-back-at-the-office-12-september-2020</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-like-being-in-government-but-with-more-to-do-20-august-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-mankind-s-worst-fear-a-liz-truss-book-launch-20-april-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-not-lee-anderson-s-fault-it-s-his-master-who-can-t-control-him-16-september-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘It’s not Lee Anderson’s fault – it’s his master who can’t control him.’ - 16 September 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-only-a-matter-of-time-before-nicola-sturgeon-gives-us-our-independence-3-december-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘It’s only a matter of time before Nicola Sturgeon gives us our independence.’ - 3 December 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-peerless-prose-18-november-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-so-cold-and-bleak-donald-trump-may-want-to-buy-us-18-january-2025</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-the-case-against-boris-johnson-11-march-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-the-new-quentin-tarantino-bloodfest-27-march-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-the-property-ladder-19-february-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-it-s-to-scare-off-the-migrants-15-october-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘It’s to scare off the migrants.’ - 15 October 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-just-to-warn-you-there-s-an-election-coming-25-may-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-keep-it-to-yourself-but-i-m-a-navalny-supporter-13-february-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-keep-the-humans-outside-they-get-distressed-by-what-goes-on-indoors-4-november-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Keep the humans outside – they get distressed by what goes on indoors.’ - 4 November 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-killjoy-to-the-world-18-december-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-let-us-hope-and-pray-it-s-before-the-budget-26-october-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Let us hope and pray it’s before the Budget.’ - 26 October 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-let-s-check-whether-you-ve-been-naughty-or-nice-17-december-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Let’s check whether you’ve been naughty or nice.’ - 17 December 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-let-s-hope-he-hasn-t-got-into-bed-with-another-publisher-21-january-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Let’s hope he hasn’t got into bed with another publisher.’ - 21 January 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-let-s-hope-the-old-lady-of-threadneedle-street-isn-t-in-a-care-home-23-may-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Let’s hope the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street isn’t in a care home.’ - 23 May 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-let-s-play-war-i-ll-be-chatty-rat-and-you-be-foolish-and-unethical-1-may-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Let’s play War. I’ll be Chatty Rat and you be Foolish and Unethical.’ - 1 May 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-mary-mary-quite-contrary-how-does-your-garden-grow-23-july-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow?’ - 23 July 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-may-i-remind-the-audience-to-turn-mobile-phones-on-14-december-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘May I remind the audience to turn mobile phones on.’ - 14 December 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-my-desk-used-to-be-lovely-and-unspoilt-3-july-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘My desk used to be lovely and unspoilt.’ - 3 July 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-needs-changing-4-september-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-netanyahu-s-sticking-to-his-guns-18-november-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Netanyahu’s sticking to his guns.’ - 18 November 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-never-mix-grain-and-grope-9-july-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-no-need-to-forgive-me-father-for-my-advisers-assured-me-i-haven-t-sinned-1-april-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘No need to forgive me, Father, for my advisers assured me I haven’t sinned.’ - 1 April 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-no-thanks-i-m-too-tiered-16-january-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘No thanks, I’m too tiered.’ - 16 January 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-no-wonder-it-s-expensive-it-tastes-like-petrol-12-march-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘No wonder it’s expensive – it tastes like petrol.’ - 12 March 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-not-all-mps-are-abusive-and-predatory-some-of-us-are-greedy-and-corrupt-30-april-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Not all MPs are abusive and predatory – some of us are greedy and corrupt.’ - 30 April 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-not-as-much-tennis-as-i-d-hoped-18-september-2021</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-oh-no-i-got-hideously-drunk-and-posted-something-moderate-and-inoffensive-20-april-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-oh-no-i-completely-forgot-to-be-apathetic-8-may-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Oh no! I completely forgot to be apathetic!’ - 8 May 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-oh-no-it-s-a-love-rat-12-november-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Oh no! It’s a love rat!’ - 12 November 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-oh-no-sequels-are-always-worse-than-the-original-16-november-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Oh no! Sequels are always worse than the original!’ - 16 November 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-onwards-12-february-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-our-french-poodle-keeps-setting-fire-to-our-car-15-july-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Our French poodle keeps setting fire to our car.’ - 15 July 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-our-leader-s-decided-to-cling-on-16-july-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Our leader’s decided to cling on.’ - 16 July 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-our-numbers-are-173-accurate-4-january-2025</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Our numbers are 173% accurate!’ - 4 January 2025</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-our-son-s-so-lazy-i-m-having-to-take-his-covid-test-for-him-27-february-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Our son’s so lazy, I’m having to take his Covid test for him.’ - 27 February 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-pity-poor-rishi-sunak-he-has-four-homes-to-heat-9-april-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-relax-it-s-just-matt-hancock-and-gina-coladangelo-7-may-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-relax-there-s-bound-to-be-a-yule-turn-3-october-2020</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-so-he-won-the-no-confidence-vote-11-june-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘So he won the no-confidence vote?’ - 11 June 2022</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘So they ignored the Nimbys and built it anyway.’ - 27 July 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-so-what-s-new-people-become-christians-to-avoid-going-somewhere-unpleasant-17-february-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘So what’s new? People become Christians to avoid going somewhere unpleasant.’ - 17 February 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-so-who-s-been-naughty-and-nice-18-december-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘So who’s been naughty and nice?’ - 18 December 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-so-you-work-in-the-downing-street-press-team-28-may-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘So you work in the Downing Street press team?’ - 28 May 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-sorry-i-ve-already-sold-my-soul-to-the-saudis-17-june-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Sorry, I’ve already sold my  soul to the Saudis.’ - 17 June 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-start-the-boats-28-october-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘START THE BOATS!’ - 28 October 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-tell-yonder-peasant-that-the-winter-fuel-allowance-is-cancelled-14-december-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Tell yonder peasant that the winter fuel allowance is cancelled.’ - 14 December 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-thank-heavens-for-no-fault-divorce-16-april-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Thank heavens for no-fault divorce.’ - 16 April 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-thanks-to-inheritance-tax-it-s-more-of-a-won-t-2-november-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Thanks to inheritance tax, it’s more of a “won’t”.’ - 2 November 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-that-s-a-relief-i-thought-it-was-a-canvasser-22-june-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘That’s a relief – I thought it was a canvasser!’ - 22 June 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-that-s-a-relief-we-feared-you-had-an-explosive-dossier-29-may-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘That’s a relief — we feared you had an explosive dossier.’ - 29 May 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-that-s-global-warming-for-you-13-august-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘That’s global warming for you.’ - 13 August 2022</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘That’s Sir Ed Davey’s seat.’ - 13 July 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-banksy-is-left-at-the-banksy-right-at-the-banksy-and-opposite-the-banksy-17-august-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The Banksy is left at the Banksy, right at the Banksy and opposite the Banksy.’ - 17 August 2024</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The booster seat’s for Lord Wilf.’ - 30 July 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-boy-who-identifies-as-a-wolf-has-eaten-granny-28-september-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The boy who identifies as a wolf has eaten Granny!’ - 28 September 2024</image:title>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The free school meal is so bad my daughter refuses to photograph it.’ - 23 January 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-good-news-is-you-can-stop-worrying-about-a-no-deal-brexit-19-september-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The good news is you can stop worrying about a no-deal Brexit.’ - 19 September 2020</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-junior-doctors-are-on-strike-so-you-ll-have-to-wait-for-your-misdiagnosis-15-april-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The junior doctors are on strike so you’ll have to wait for your misdiagnosis.’ - 15 April 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-only-thing-i-ll-do-for-money-is-anything-13-november-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The only thing I’ll do for money is anything.’ - 13 November 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-school-bully-made-me-dance-a-perfect-foxtrot-5-october-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-the-tories-have-certainly-done-their-bit-in-getting-britain-moving-8-october-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘The Tories have certainly done their bit in getting Britain moving.’ - 8 October 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-their-definition-of-plagiarism-is-suspiciously-similar-to-ours-4-november-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘Their definition of plagiarism is suspiciously similar to ours.’ - 4 November 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-there-are-no-brakes-and-it-s-back-seat-drive-16-november-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘There are no brakes and it’s back-seat drive.’ - 16 November 2024</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-there-s-going-to-be-a-chronic-shortage-of-tories-10-december-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘There’s going to be a chronic shortage of Tories.’ - 10 December 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-there-s-never-a-policeman-around-when-you-want-one-19-february-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Nick Newman - ‘There’s never a policeman around when you want one.’ - 19 February 2022</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/nick-newman-these-days-it-s-almost-impossible-to-find-a-tory-29-june-2024</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-and-your-special-subject-is-covid-government-guidance-and-rules-november-december-2020-5-december-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-don-t-just-sit-there-google-something-25-january-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-he-must-have-coronavirus-he-s-lost-his-sense-of-taste-16-may-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-here-he-comes-again-but-if-he-mentions-r-once-more-18-july-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-hurry-up-or-he-ll-have-his-weevil-way-with-her-7-november-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-i-hope-the-press-get-here-soon-i-can-t-keep-this-up-all-night-31-october-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-i-love-the-all-you-can-eat-buffets-24-april-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-i-thought-we-d-made-that-rule-particularly-clear-26-september-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-i-told-you-you-had-more-chance-of-being-run-over-by-a-bus-than-of-catching-covid-17-october-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>Paul Williams - ‘I told you you had more chance of being run over by a bus than of catching Covid.’ - 17 October 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-i-m-afraid-the-jury-s-still-out-23-may-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-i-m-drinking-from-home-again-21-november-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-it-s-ok-you-re-allowed-to-meet-for-exercise-with-one-other-person-from-one-other-household-9-january-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>Paul Williams - ‘It’s OK, you’re allowed to meet for exercise with one other person from one other household.’ - 9 January 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-looks-like-midas-has-been-suffering-the-slings-and-arrows-of-outrageous-fortune-again-1-august-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>Paul Williams - ‘Looks like Midas has been suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune again.’ - 1 August 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-no-difference-i-ve-always-wfh-23-january-2021</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-now-there-s-a-surprise-8-august-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-same-old-problem-battery-life-11-january-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-she-used-to-take-everything-off-12-september-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-sorry-boys-but-you-re-going-to-have-to-leave-your-contact-details-at-the-door-22-august-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-we-understand-that-he-made-his-fortune-from-slug-pellets-20-june-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-your-cup-runneth-over-1-july-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-bad-news-marshal-the-denver-coach-has-been-held-up-again-15-august-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-life-class-1-million-bc-12-september-2020</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-must-be-the-butcher-s-dog-they-re-all-talking-about-17-october-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-police-id-masks-3-october-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-sausage-roll-models-15-august-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-st-paul-s-damascene-conversion-st-paul-goes-into-the-attic-7-november-2020</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-williams-wait-here-to-be-served-29-august-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-after-spending-so-much-time-in-isolation-i-decided-to-cut-it-myself-16-may-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-and-do-you-promise-to-love-honour-and-not-change-gender-13-april-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-and-do-you-angela-agree-to-undergo-a-course-of-critical-race-theory-10-october-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-and-would-you-like-ozempic-with-that-1-june-2024</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-any-chance-of-a-first-opinion-30-july-2022</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-apparently-he-s-some-kind-of-systems-analyst-12-august-2023</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-apparently-we-need-a-tv-licence-12-august-2023</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-brian-isn-t-dry-january-and-veganuary-enough-11-january-2025</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-but-guys-i-didn-t-mean-being-this-unpopular-14-september-2024</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-but-i-m-not-working-from-home-i-m-working-from-my-second-home-30-april-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘But I’m not working from home. I’m working from my second home.’ - 30 April 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-can-i-swap-this-cow-for-those-beans-i-ve-just-turned-vegan-7-march-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Can I swap this cow for those beans? I’ve just turned vegan.’ - 7 March 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-can-you-tell-me-what-the-money-will-be-used-for-1-june-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Can you tell me what the money will be used for?’ - 1 June 2024</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-chickenpox-was-last-week-this-is-the-monkeypox-party-9-july-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Chickenpox was last week. This is the monkeypox party.’ - 9 July 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-completely-self-made-he-sells-lateral-flow-tests-on-ebay-26-february-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/paul_wood_260222_1_sg-1.jpg?v=1737526467</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Completely self-made — he sells lateral flow tests on eBay.’ - 26 February 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-damn-i-forgot-to-plug-the-car-in-again-24-july-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/40_24.07.21_paul-wood.jpg?v=1737526470</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Damn! I forgot to plug the car in again!’ - 24 July 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-david-tennant-has-found-his-nemesis-6-july-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/nemesis-06072024.jpg?v=1737526474</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘David Tennant has found his nemesis.’ - 6 July 2024</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-do-we-have-to-play-dad-you-know-you-can-never-remember-the-rules-10-october-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/21_10.10.20_Paul_Wood.jpg?v=1737526480</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Do we have to play, Dad? You know  you can never remember the rules.’ - 10 October 2020</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-do-you-think-starmer-will-ever-identify-as-the-opposition-26-march-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/paul_wood_260322_1_sg-1.jpg?v=1737526482</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Do you think Starmer will ever identify as the opposition?’ - 26 March 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-dog-friendly-pub-that-was-the-previous-owners-10-june-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/paul_wood_100623_1_sg.jpg?v=1737526486</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Dog-friendly pub? That was the previous owners.’ - 10 June 2023</image:title>
      <image:caption></image:caption>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-don-t-you-think-you-d-find-it-a-bit-easier-if-you-took-the-mask-off-5-february-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/paul_wood_050222_1_sg-1.jpg?v=1737526489</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Don’t you think you’d find it a bit easier if you took the mask off?’ - 5 February 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-fee-fi-fo-fum-i-no-longer-smell-the-blood-of-an-englishman-13-february-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/48_13.02.21_Paul_Wood.jpg?v=1737526494</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Fee-fi-fo-fum, I no longer smell the blood of an Englishman.’ - 13 February 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-go-home-picasso-you-ve-had-enough-18-june-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/25_18.06.22_Paul_Wood-1.jpg?v=1737526497</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Go home Picasso. You’ve had enough.’ - 18 June 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-have-you-tried-asking-elon-musk-8-october-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Have you tried asking Elon Musk?’ - 8 October 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-have-you-tried-eating-more-protein-it-will-make-you-feel-fuller-for-longer-3-september-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/more-protein.jpg?v=1737526509</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Have you tried eating more protein? It will make you feel fuller for longer.’ - 3 September 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-he-said-don-t-make-him-look-all-king-charlesy-25-may-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/15_25.05.24_Paul_Wood.jpg?v=1737526512</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘He said don’t make him look all King Charlesy.’ - 25 May 2024</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-he-s-right-kids-there-s-nothing-here-that-bans-short-selling-16-december-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/16_16.12.23_Paul_Wood.jpg?v=1737526527</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘He’s right, kids, there’s nothing here that bans short selling.’ - 16 December 2023</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-how-s-the-wine-dear-i-hear-it-packs-a-bit-of-a-wallop-19-december-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/27_19.12.20_Paul_Wood.png?v=1737526540</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘How’s the wine, dear? I hear it packs a bit of a wallop.’ - 19 December 2020</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-can-remember-exactly-what-i-was-doing-this-time-last-year-13-march-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I can remember exactly what I was doing this time last year.’ - 13 March 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-got-the-m25-down-to-a-walking-pace-but-nobody-noticed-29-july-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I got the M25 down to a walking pace but nobody noticed.’ - 29 July 2023</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-have-a-confession-i-ve-never-tried-his-recipes-i-just-like-saying-ottolenghi-11-may-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/confession-11052024.jpg?v=1737526555</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I have a confession. I’ve never tried his recipes – I just like saying Ottolenghi.’ - 11 May 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-hear-they-re-very-middle-of-the-road-29-january-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I hear they’re very middle-of-the-road.’ - 29 January 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-just-asked-alexa-to-stop-stealing-my-data-13-november-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I just asked Alexa to stop stealing my data...’ - 13 November 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-know-you-work-from-home-now-edward-but-do-you-still-have-to-do-dress-down-friday-12-december-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/dress-down-friday.jpg?v=1737526563</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I know you work from home now, Edward, but do you still have to do dress-down Friday?’ - 12 December 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-d-like-you-to-meet-my-other-half-brian-brian-s-a-doctor-9-october-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/brian.jpg?v=1737526570</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I’d like you to meet my other half Brian. Brian’s a doctor.’ - 9 October 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-m-confused-is-this-a-tory-doom-and-gloom-or-labour-doom-and-gloom-14-september-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/17_14.09.24_Paul_Wood.png?v=1737526576</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I’m confused – is this a Tory doom and gloom or Labour doom and gloom?’ - 14 September 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-m-going-to-have-to-go-guys-i-m-losing-my-connection-5-september-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/losing-connection.jpg?v=1737526578</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I’m going to have to go guys, I’m losing my connection.’ - 5 September 2020</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-i-m-sorry-for-that-outburst-i-ve-been-binge-watching-succession-15-april-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘I’m sorry for that outburst, I’ve been binge-watching Succession.’ - 15 April 2023</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-it-s-a-lifestyle-choice-my-wife-hates-me-snoring-in-bed-11-november-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/lifestyle-choice-11112023.jpg?v=1737526594</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘It’s a lifestyle choice – my wife hates me snoring in bed.’ - 11 November 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-it-s-all-jacob-does-since-he-lost-his-seat-13-july-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/lost-his-seat-13072024.jpg?v=1737526597</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘It’s all Jacob does since he lost his seat’ - 13 July 2024</image:title>
      <image:caption></image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-it-s-even-harder-to-read-there-s-a-chapter-dedicated-to-pronouns-28-october-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/paul_wood_281023_1_sg.jpg?v=1737526604</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘It’s even harder to read – there’s a chapter dedicated to pronouns.’ - 28 October 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-it-s-my-husband-he-s-lost-his-sense-of-taste-3-october-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘It’s my husband, he’s lost his sense of taste.’ - 3 October 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-let-your-dad-rest-he-s-spent-all-day-pounding-the-tweets-23-november-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/15_23.11.24_Paul_Wood.jpg?v=1737526617</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Let your dad rest. He’s spent all day pounding the tweets...’ - 23 November 2024</image:title>
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    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-let-s-face-it-we-re-running-out-of-ways-to-rescue-the-country-30-may-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/running-out-of-ways.jpg?v=1737526619</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Let’s face it – we’re running out of ways to rescue the country.’ - 30 May 2020</image:title>
      <image:caption></image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-look-joolz-a-new-coffee-shop-16-january-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/10_16.01.21_Paul_Wood.jpg?v=1737526624</image:loc>
      <image:title>Paul Wood - ‘Look Joolz, a new coffee shop.’ - 16 January 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-s-funny-it-sounds-like-a-turtle-suffocating-on-plastic-7-may-2022</loc>
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  <url>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-yeah-yeah-tell-me-something-i-don-t-know-13-august-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-tweet-tweet-5-november-2022</loc>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/paul-wood-war-famine-death-media-17-september-2022</loc>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/percival-top-trumps-11-january-2020</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-ah-the-old-bad-cop-even-worse-cop-routine-28-january-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Ah, the old bad cop, even worse cop routine.’ - 28 January 2023</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-be-careful-of-him-he-s-got-a-dark-side-7-november-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Be careful of him, he’s got a dark side.’ - 7 November 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-doctor-do-you-ever-feel-our-modern-adventures-are-just-box-ticking-6-november-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Doctor, do you ever feel our modern adventures are just box-ticking?’ - 6 November 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-he-s-a-crocapoo-19-june-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘He’s a crocapoo.’ - 19 June 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-he-s-a-labranoodle-12-october-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘He’s a Labranoodle.’ - 12 October 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-he-s-a-rescue-dog-13-february-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘He’s a rescue dog.’ - 13 February 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-he-s-a-therapy-dog-23-april-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘He’s a therapy dog.’ - 23 April 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-he-s-an-earworm-6-november-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘He’s an earworm.’ - 6 November 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-he-s-no-longer-observing-lockdown-3-april-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘He’s no longer observing lockdown.’ - 3 April 2021</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-his-classical-reading-habit-s-been-somewhat-pertinent-recently-9-july-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘His classical reading habit’s been somewhat pertinent recently.’ - 9 July 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-how-many-of-these-prequels-are-they-going-to-make-11-may-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘How many of these prequels are they going to make?’ - 11 May 2024</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-come-from-a-long-line-of-labour-mps-fighting-privilege-20-july-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I come from a long line of Labour MPs fighting privilege.’ - 20 July 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-hope-they-throw-the-booky-wook-at-him-23-september-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I hope they throw the booky wook at him.’ - 23 September 2023</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-put-it-on-the-mantelpiece-it-s-as-close-to-a-social-life-as-we-re-going-to-get-to-right-now-27-february-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I put it on the mantelpiece. It’s as close to a social life as we’re going to get to right now.’ - 27 February 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-said-it-was-time-to-stop-treating-the-public-like-children-and-got-sent-to-the-naughty-step-26-september-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I said it was time to stop treating the public like children and got sent to the naughty step.’ - 26 September 2020</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-worry-about-the-disturbing-things-he-might-be-reading-online-8-october-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I worry about the disturbing things he might be reading online.’ - 8 October 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-m-fed-up-of-always-eating-street-food-9-october-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I’m fed up of always eating street food.’ - 9 October 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-m-not-sure-all-these-classic-books-benefit-from-modernisation-12-november-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I’m not sure all these classic books benefit from modernisation.’ - 12 November 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-i-m-sorry-but-if-one-of-you-prefers-waitrose-and-the-other-m-s-i-just-can-t-see-a-way-forward-20-january-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘I’m sorry, but if one of you prefers Waitrose and the other M&amp;S I just can’t see a way forward.’ - 20 January 2024</image:title>
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    </image:image>
  </url>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-isn-t-it-boring-when-people-tell-you-how-they-got-here-19-december-2020</loc>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/boring.jpg?v=1737527587</image:loc>
      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Isn’t it boring when people tell you how they got here?’ - 19 December 2020</image:title>
      <image:caption></image:caption>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-it-can-destroy-entire-economies-2-december-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘It can destroy entire economies.’ - 2 December 2023</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-it-s-a-serious-crime-area-27-january-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘It’s a serious crime area.’ - 27 January 2024</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-it-s-coming-as-a-shock-to-this-generation-that-modern-tech-can-t-fix-everything-23-april-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘It’s coming as a shock to this generation that modern tech can’t fix everything.’ - 23 April 2022</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-it-s-getting-more-and-more-urban-round-here-i-saw-a-fox-the-other-day-10-august-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘It’s getting more and more urban round here... I saw a fox the other day.’ - 10 August 2024</image:title>
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    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-it-s-new-wave-cinema-22-august-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘It’s new wave cinema.’ - 22 August 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-it-s-the-beginning-of-the-end-25-june-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘It’s the beginning of The End.’ - 25 June 2022</image:title>
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    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-let-s-face-it-i-ve-always-been-the-prince-andrew-of-the-family-25-july-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Let’s face it, I’ve always been the Prince Andrew of the family.’ - 25 July 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-marley-s-ghost-has-a-less-perturbing-message-than-i-anticipated-17-december-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Marley’s ghost has a less perturbing message than I anticipated.’ - 17 December 2022</image:title>
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    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-no-one-can-afford-to-go-from-a-to-z-at-these-prices-26-march-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘No one can afford to go from A to Z at these prices.’ - 26 March 2022</image:title>
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    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-oh-god-he-s-sounding-really-feeble-30-may-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Oh god, he’s sounding really feeble.’ - 30 May 2020</image:title>
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    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-oh-no-racist-royals-16-december-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Oh no! Racist royals!’ - 16 December 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-oh-and-mick-don-t-play-sympathy-for-the-devil-it-might-imply-support-for-putin-11-march-2023</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Oh, and Mick, don’t play “Sympathy for the Devil” – it might imply support for Putin’ - 11 March 2023</image:title>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-play-for-30-years-give-up-reset-all-pieces-to-original-positions-start-again-11-september-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Play for 30 years. Give up. Reset all pieces to original positions. Start again.’ - 11 September 2021</image:title>
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    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-remember-when-pets-just-went-missing-8-may-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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  <url>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-round-robins-are-all-the-same-after-a-year-of-lockdown-19-december-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Round robins are all the same after a year of lockdown.’ - 19 December 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-sensitivity-reader-i-married-him-in-an-entirely-appropriate-and-socially-acceptable-fashion-25-february-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Sensitivity reader, I married him in an entirely appropriate and socially acceptable fashion.’ - 25 February 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-silly-season-s-here-again-then-13-august-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Silly season’s here again then.’ - 13 August 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-so-we-re-agreed-it-s-finally-time-to-address-the-problem-of-coastal-erosion-18-february-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘So we’re agreed, it’s finally time to address the problem of coastal erosion.’ - 18 February 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-someone-keeps-rearranging-the-letters-on-our-toilets-sign-25-may-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Someone keeps rearranging the letters on our Toilets sign.’ - 25 May 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-that-fox-is-up-to-a-right-racket-in-the-garden-again-5-june-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘That fox is up to a right racket in the garden again.’ - 5 June 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-that-goes-off-every-time-a-member-of-cabinet-splits-from-their-partner-10-july-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘That goes off every time a member of cabinet splits from their partner.’ - 10 July 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-the-days-are-getting-shorter-10-september-2022</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘The days are getting shorter.’ - 10 September 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-the-seating-plan-is-cheat-cuckold-cheat-cuckold-10-july-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘The seating plan is: cheat, cuckold, cheat, cuckold...’ - 10 July 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-there-s-a-lot-of-disagreement-over-whether-it-s-worthy-of-a-statue-20-june-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/worthy-of-a-statue.jpg?v=1737527719</image:loc>
      <image:title>RGJ - ‘There’s a lot of disagreement over whether it’s worthy of a statue.’ - 20 June 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-these-gender-reveal-parties-are-all-the-same-6-november-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘These gender reveal parties are all the same.’ - 6 November 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-this-is-the-compliance-department-6-november-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘This is the compliance department.’ - 6 November 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-this-is-wrong-on-so-many-levels-25-june-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘This is wrong on so many levels.’ - 25 June 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-this-is-your-fault-21-october-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘This is your fault.’ - 21 October 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-three-kings-is-too-much-to-expect-in-a-modern-slimmed-down-monarchy-14-december-2024</loc>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/rgj_141224_1_sg.jpg?v=1737527739</image:loc>
      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Three kings is too much to expect in a modern slimmed-down monarchy.’ - 14 December 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-ugh-they-ve-got-christmas-products-in-the-shops-already-17-october-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Ugh, they’ve got Christmas products in the shops already.’ - 17 October 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-using-recorded-crowd-noise-just-isn-t-the-same-8-august-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Using recorded crowd noise just isn’t the same.’ - 8 August 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-do-guilt-trips-24-august-2024</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We do guilt trips.’ - 24 August 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-heard-you-re-up-to-something-that-involves-10-000-spectators-25-april-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We heard you’re up to something that involves 10,000 spectators.’ - 25 April 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-must-remain-ever-vigilant-for-chinese-spy-balloons-18-february-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We must remain ever vigilant for Chinese spy balloons.’ - 18 February 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-need-to-stop-fighting-each-other-and-gang-up-on-that-little-dog-27-february-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We need to stop fighting each other and gang up on that little dog.’ - 27 February 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-should-have-selected-candidates-who-d-be-more-resistant-to-honey-traps-13-april-2024</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We should have selected candidates who’d be more resistant to honey traps.’ - 13 April 2024</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-d-like-to-distance-ourselves-from-all-the-decisions-we-made-before-the-outbreak-16-may-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We’d like to distance ourselves from all the decisions we made before the outbreak.’ - 16 May 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-ll-be-delivering-more-than-just-eggs-next-year-28-november-2020</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We’ll be delivering more than just eggs next year.’ - 28 November 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-re-reaching-the-lockdown-halfway-point-9-may-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We’re reaching the lockdown halfway point.’ - 9 May 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-ve-raised-a-flag-to-celebrate-achieving-our-aims-4-february-2023</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘We’ve raised a flag to celebrate achieving our aims.’ - 4 February 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-we-ve-really-made-j-k-rowling-look-silly-30-july-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-which-one-of-us-gets-to-be-carrie-12-february-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Which one of us gets to be Carrie?’ - 12 February 2022</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-you-ve-let-the-garden-rewilding-go-too-far-11-september-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - ‘You’ve let the garden rewilding go too far.’ - 11 September 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-your-flight-to-egypt-has-been-cancelled-have-you-considered-rwanda-16-december-2023</loc>
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      <image:loc>https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0873/6358/4334/files/cancelled-flight-16122023.jpg?v=1737527813</image:loc>
      <image:title>RGJ - ‘Your flight to Egypt has been cancelled. Have you considered Rwanda?’ - 16 December 2023</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-all-weve-done-so-far-is-just-posturing-29-february-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - All we&apos;ve done so far is just posturing - 29 February 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-any-chance-you-could-do-my-hair-23-may-2020</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - Any chance you could do my hair? - 23 May 2020</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-autumn-season-clothes-3-september-2022</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-bill-and-melinda-gates-15-may-2021</loc>
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      <image:title>RGJ - Bill and Melinda Gates - 15 May 2021</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-bleak-lives-matter-8-may-2021</loc>
    <lastmod>2026-07-21T20:44:39+01:00</lastmod>
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      <image:title>RGJ - Bleak lives matter - 8 May 2021</image:title>
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    <loc>https://shop.spectator.co.uk/products/rgj-chaos-theory-18-june-2022</loc>
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